Who decided the value of our families?

Lately I have been thinking a lot about the current state of family and work in our country. No, this is not a political issue, or maybe it should be. There was once a time, though for my 37 years, it was a brief time; when your company actually cared about you as a human being and cared about your family. When you went out on vacation, you were just that... out. Somewhere along the line we became a frenzied culture obsessed with hours logged on the clock and 24/7 accessibility. I cannot even remember the last time I actually took a vacation and did not stop to stress over the job. When did it become acceptable for them to reach us... ALWAYS? I am proud of myself for taking a stand for my own family last week. It was my son's moving up ceremony at his daycare. There was to be an assembly along with the pre-k graduation and snacks in the playground after. It started at 11:00. My husband stole an hour from work and came for the assembly to watch our guy sing and dance his heart out, which in and of itself was one of the greatest things I have experienced yet as a parent. Even though I was out sick with him the week before, I still took off the whole day for him. I was not going to rush to get there from work, then rush to get back to work leaving him wondering why his mommy and/or daddy was not there. I must admit, I did not think twice. This was a big day for my son, which made it a big day for me. I decided that my family was more important that day. How come this an exception and not the norm. When did we as parents decide that it was ok to lose the joys of being a parent? Did we allow this to happen while chasing the almighty dollar? Did anyone even realize it was happening? Is anyone happier? I'm certainly not. Here we are, one of the richest countries in the world, yet we are poor when it comes to quality of family life. Yes, I know there are some women who had no choice due to their circumstances, death, divorce, single parenthood. And believe me, I salute you. It's rough doing it with a partner, god bless you all who have to play both roles. But why is it we have become so out of control that a woman still needs to defend her choices... either way? Why do we need to appologize for being there for our family?

Can't she get someone to watch him?

So, as you all know by now, my son is 2 years old. He was sick last week with a stomach virus. Anyone who has kids knows that when a baby is sick, they just want mommy(or daddy, sorry guys). At 2 years old, there's also slim chance they can communicate what's wrong. Enter mommy guilt again. It's not bad enough I had to feel guilty leaving work early to pick him up when I got the call from daycare and take off the following day and then morning after that; but to come back to work and hear that the question arose... "Can't she get someone to watch him?" My child is sick, who is anyone I work with to question who takes care of my sick baby? And you can rest assure it will be ME!!! Did I mention I always make up my time by working at 11:00 p.m. when these same people are either sleeping or out partying? I produce twice as much as any non-parent out there, yet the second I must step foot outside the office for my son, my work is questioned. In all fairness, I must say, it was not my manager who rose these questions, it was in fact women in the office. It amazes me how women fought so hard for equal rights and it is women who degrade mothers the most for wanting to also take care of our kids. Seams to me there is something wrong somewhere. Is it really possible to have a thriving career and a happy family?

What are we hiding from?

I found myself in conversation today with my new manager. Well, I have been at the job almost 3 months, so he's a semi-new manager. As we spoke about things to come in the department and each of our expectations of the future I kept finding that I was very conscious NOT to mention ever having another child. In my past experience with one manager in particular, who was a woman, she actually would out loud make it known she did not want to promote the women she thought may get pregnant. As a result I am very careful not to tell managers how much I love being a mom and spending time with my son. If I have to work, I certainly do not want to be looked over for promotions and raises. I find it crazy that I have been called "rock star" by more than one HR personel, I have a Master's Degree and glowing references, yet I need to hide the fact that I may want more children. What a message to send the young folks of today.